A ROOF ON HILL STREET - David Johnson, LSA senior, recently visited the hospital after a bad fall that occurred last Saturday afternoon during the tailgate before the Minnesota football game. “The last thing I remember I was having the time of my life dancing with my best friend on the roof. Then I just woke up in the hospital.”
 
David’s injury luckily did not require any surgery. However, he has been experiencing major emotional distress. “I was so upset that I wouldn’t be sitting in the front row that I was driven to drink excessively,” admitted David. “My friends and I are all seniors and the only way we could show our true rank on the student body hierarchy was to literally climb things.”
 
David will be on crutches for at least three weeks and has nothing to blame but the General Admission Seating Policy. It went into effect beginning in the 2013 football season and has garnered uproar from University of Michigan upperclassmen.
 
The new policy allows whoever shows up at the game first to have the best seats instead of giving them to those with the most academic credits. “I think that my injury should be used as an example,” stated David. “There are absolutely no positives to the new system and my broken left leg is just one of the thousands of negative consequences.”
 
Thousands of upperclassmen, like David, were uncharacteristically witnessed drinking excessive amounts of alcohol on Saturday morning before kickoff, causing many to miss the game. Although the Michigan football team defeated Minnesota 42-13, thousands of Wolverines were clearly unhappy with Saturday’s experience as many turned to alcohol to numb the pain caused by the General Admissions Policy.